Kimberly Duff, MS, LPC, CRC – Overcomers Counseling, LLC https://www.counselingbykimberly.com Video and Telephone Counseling Services Throughout Georgia Wed, 30 Aug 2023 15:02:50 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.12 142954943 Happy April! Topic – Service Animals https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/happy-april/ https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/happy-april/#respond Wed, 19 Apr 2023 14:35:40 +0000 https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/?p=7352 As we enter the second week of April, spring is in full swing. I hope everyone approaches their work with a renewed sense of life and vigor as you see all the beauty of nature in full bloom. In this month’s issue, I want to focus on providing education about emotional support animals vs. service …

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As we enter the second week of April, spring is in full swing. I hope everyone approaches their work with a renewed sense of life and vigor as you see all the beauty of nature in full bloom.

In this month’s issue, I want to focus on providing education about emotional support animals vs. service animals.

When my husband and I were first married, he relied on a Seeing Eye dog to travel, and I gained firsthand experience in the importance of educating the public to facilitate the guide dog user’s travel success.

For example, I remember often needing to tell others about the importance of not petting the dog or sneaking food if the dog is to work effectively.

In this month’s issue, I want to help therapists understand the importance of our role in providing letters for ESA letters to clients.

As a therapist, you may be asked by your clients to write a letter supporting their request to obtain an emotional support animal. While this concept may be unfamiliar to some mental health professionals, it is important to understand the differences between emotional support and service animals and the federal laws in the United States that pertain to these animals in the areas of housing, travel, and public accommodation.

Service Animals

Service animals are animals that have received special training to help a person with a physical, sensory, cognitive, or psychiatric disability. These animals are protected by Title II and Title III of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), and their work must be directly related to the person’s disability.

Emotional Support Animals

On the other hand, emotional support animals, sometimes known as comfort animals, may help provide support to an individual by helping mitigate symptoms of depression, relieving loneliness, and/or providing companionship.

However, these animals are not trained to provide a service to a person with a disability and are not covered by the ADA.

As a mental health professional, it is essential to consult laws in your specific jurisdiction regarding emotional support animals since they vary from place to place. Emotional support animals do not have specialized training, and these animals are not protected by the ADA.

Under the ADA, the owner of a housing facility is required to allow a service animal on the premises, and the owner is not allowed to charge a fee or deposit for the service animal.

Additionally, owners of the housing may be required to allow emotional support animals for persons with psychiatric or other disabilities. Landlords may require proof of disability and verification that the animal is an emotional support animal.

Under the ADA, service animals must be allowed to travel with the person with a disability. The transportation provider may not charge a fee for the animal, and the person with a disability is not required to provide prior notice.

Individuals wishing to travel with an emotional support animal on an airplane may be required to provide documentation from a licensed mental health professional stating the person’s mental health diagnosis.

Verified service animals are covered by the ADA and must be permitted in public spaces such as restaurants and shopping centers. Emotional support and therapy animals are not protected by the ADA and should not be allowed in public places unless the establishment permits pets or other animals.

When faced with a request to write a letter for a client related to emotional support and/or service animals, it is important to verify the client’s psychiatric disability and the need for the animal in the client’s treatment.

Professionals should also understand that the illegitimate use of emotional support animals confuses the public and may ultimately jeopardize the effective working relationship of the person who uses a service animal to mitigate the effects of their disability.

If the therapist determines the ESA letter is necessary for the patient’s proper functioning, the letter of verification should include the professional’s license, state or jurisdiction of the license, the date(s) of the license, the individual’s clinical diagnosis, a statement that the individual is under the care of this professional, and that the animal is necessary for the individual’s functioning/treatment.

Resources

If you would like more information, check out some of the additional resources below:

I hope this information is useful to you. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me about this topic or other accessibility concerns.

If you are interested in wellness coaching or therapy and are looking for help for a disability or chronic illness, are in the military or a military family member, or are seeking Christian-centered services, please contact me through my website: https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/

Best regards,

Kimberly R. Duff MS, LPC, CRC

Owner and Therapist, Overcomers Counseling, LLC

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Hello, all of my friends! https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/hello-all-of-my-friends/ https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/hello-all-of-my-friends/#respond Wed, 22 Mar 2023 14:07:50 +0000 https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/?p=7342 Thank you for your support of my personal and professional goals. Being a therapist with a disability isn’t easy, but having wonderful clients and colleagues makes all the effort so rewarding. Spring is an exciting time of growth as we see trees and flowers explode with beauty. Yet, it may be hard to find beauty …

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Thank you for your support of my personal and professional goals. Being a therapist with a disability isn’t easy, but having wonderful clients and colleagues makes all the effort so rewarding.

Spring is an exciting time of growth as we see trees and flowers explode with beauty. Yet, it may be hard to find beauty or purpose after receiving a new diagnosis or acquiring a new physical disability.

I encourage others to look at this time of year as a way to reflect on their personal health and wellness goals. Is this a good time to start a walking routine, or do you or someone you know need help organizing the many therapy and doctor appointments that come with a new disability or chronic condition?

I am excited to announce the newest service for those with a disability at Overcomers Counseling, LLC:

Christian wellness coaching for persons with a newly acquired disability or newly received chronic illness diagnosis. This service is perfect for those who:

  • Are looking for resources for an employee with a newly diagnosed disability.
  • Need a friend who personally experienced a devastating diagnosis and a complex rehabilitation process.
  • Are looking for an expert on the medical and psychological aspects of disabilities.
  • Live out of the state of Georgia Need help navigating decisions related to their new diagnosis.
  • Need help understanding all of the new medical jargon.
  • Are looking for help making decisions about their future career and personal goals.
  • Need help navigating the confusing world of vocational rehabilitation.

Keep in mind that coaching does not take the place of mental health counseling.

Contact Overcomers Counseling for a free 15-minute consultation on therapy versus coaching and to see if you are a good fit for this service. To contact me, go to https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/contact/.

Virtual therapy continues to be available for persons throughout the state of Georgia.

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Welcome to the summer newsletter for Overcomers Counseling! https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/welcome-to-the-summer-newsletter-for-overcomers-counseling/ https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/welcome-to-the-summer-newsletter-for-overcomers-counseling/#respond Wed, 06 Jul 2022 13:57:22 +0000 https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/?p=7259 I hope everyone is staying cool during these hot months. I’m trying to find the perfect balance between my love of coffee and my need to feel chill. Today, I’m writing to share important updates that include the ability to accept new insurance plans and an exciting feature story that highlights my personal story and …

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I hope everyone is staying cool during these hot months. I’m trying to find the perfect balance between my love of coffee and my need to feel chill. Today, I’m writing to share important updates that include the ability to accept new insurance plans and an exciting feature story that highlights my personal story and the mission of Overcomers Counseling.

So, let’s cut to the chase with all my news. First, I joined a company called Headway which will allow me to accept Aetna, Anthem/Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Georgia, Cigna, Oxford, Oscar Health and United Healthcare Insurances. I continue to accept Humana, Tricare and private pay as well. I’m using Headway to manage my billing and admin work, so that I can focus my energy on our time together. Headway manages everything related to payments and insurance, and clients have found that they make it really easy. They’ll send you an email directly, prompting you to create an account and provide your insurance information and a credit card for your copay or deductible. Headway will use your existing insurance benefits, which will determine your cost per session. When you’re ready to get started in the process, visit my personal headway link at https://headway.co/providers/kimberly-duff.

Next, I’m very excited to share a feature on my personal history and business by the writers at Canvas Rebel. Be sure to check it out by going to https://canvasrebel.com/meet-kimberly-duff/

In closing, I’m a phone call or email away if you or someone you know wants to explore the counseling process or schedule an appointment. I want to be there for anyone struggling with mental health, physical health or family issues. As a counselor with over 15 years of experience, I specialize in Christian counseling, disability and chronic illness, and military and their family members. Visit me online at https://www.kimberlyduff.com or send a secure email to [email protected] for more information.

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Raindrops on Roses – 3 Ways to Control Your Thoughts and Foster Resilience https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/raindrops-on-roses-3-ways-to-control-your-thoughts-and-foster-resilience/ https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/raindrops-on-roses-3-ways-to-control-your-thoughts-and-foster-resilience/#respond Sat, 08 Sep 2018 15:45:14 +0000 https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/?p=515 Raindrops​ on rosesAnd whiskers on kittensBright copper kettles and warm woolen mittensBrown paper packages tied up with stringsThese are a few of my favorite things  Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashesSnowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashesSilver-white winters that melt into springsThese are a few of my favorite things ​When the dog …

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Raindrops​ on roses
And whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

 Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver-white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

​When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

As a child with pediatric brain cancer, I recall listening to this song while in the hospital over and over to get through the many struggles I encountered. 

This song describes something  that psychologists and counselors study and try to impart during therapy… the impact of our thoughts on our feelings and overall mood. 

Here I examine  3 ways to foster this resilience and pattern of thinking including  developing an optimistic outlook through interventions such as cognitive behavioral therapy,meditating on scripture  and using imagery and mindfulness to foster psychological well-being.

[…]

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5 Simple Self-Care Practices to Help Improve Your Mental Health https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/5-simple-self-care-practices-to-help-improve-your-mental-health/ https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/5-simple-self-care-practices-to-help-improve-your-mental-health/#respond Tue, 17 Apr 2018 20:41:09 +0000 https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/?p=484 This is a guest post on 5 Simple Self-Care Practices by Brad Krause from SelfCaring.info. Brad is dedicated to helping people discover that we all have the potential to be the best versions of ourselves we can possibly be, but it comes down to prioritizing our own wellness through self-care. When life gets busy, it …

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This is a guest post on 5 Simple Self-Care Practices by Brad Krause from SelfCaring.info. Brad is dedicated to helping people discover that we all have the potential to be the best versions of ourselves we can possibly be, but it comes down to prioritizing our own wellness through self-care.

When life gets busy, it can be hard to remember to take care of yourself. Many things can get in the way of putting yourself first, such as work commitments and time with friends and family. However, it’s important to practice self-care because if you don’t, your mental health can suffer. Here are some simple ways that you can improve your physical and mental health, so you can start living the best life possible.

[…]

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Three Tactics to Help You Take Control of Your Life https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/three-tactics-to-help-you-take-control-of-your-life/ https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/three-tactics-to-help-you-take-control-of-your-life/#respond Sun, 25 Mar 2018 21:23:05 +0000 https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/?p=479 The following entry contains 3 resources to help you establish a sense of organization and control in your life.  Planning and making priorities in life allows you to gain a clear picture of what is important. This planning helps us stay focused so we can reach our goals.  Here, I present 3 strategies to gaining …

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The following entry contains 3 resources to help you establish a sense of organization and control in your life.  Planning and making priorities in life allows you to gain a clear picture of what is important. This planning helps us stay focused so we can reach our goals.  Here, I present 3 strategies to gaining control and becoming organized through the use of a calendar, planner or other list, expressing yourself through a journal or diary, and approaching chores or other family responsibilities by the use of a systematic method.

Continue Reading

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Do It Afraid! 5 Steps For Chasing Your Dream When The Dream Seems Impossible https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/do-it-afraid-5-steps-for-chasing-your-dream-when-the-dream-seems-impossible/ https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/do-it-afraid-5-steps-for-chasing-your-dream-when-the-dream-seems-impossible/#comments Mon, 12 Feb 2018 00:33:08 +0000 https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/?p=405 In 2010-2011, my husband and I faced a huge decision about the future of our family.     As I turned 35, I became aware that my biological clock was ticking and I had very little time to decide if I was to have children.  Because we were both blind, the decision of having children was something …

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In 2010-2011, my husband and I faced a huge decision about the future of our family.     As I turned 35, I became aware that my biological clock was ticking and I had very little time to decide if I was to have children.  Because we were both blind, the decision of having children was something we put off due to the sheer logistics of the endeavor.  The concerns that had to be faced included health concerns, financial, and practical issues.  Yet, despite the many factors that made this undertaking seem impossible, my husband and I could not let go of the yearning for something more and the desire to go for the dream I had dreamed since I was a little girl.  We decided to face our fears and we stepped off the cliff of life and entered this crazy phase of life we call “parenthood.” The rewards of parenting have far outweighed the challenges, and it all began with us deciding to act even though we were afraid.

Sometimes in life you have to be willing to “do it afraid!” Here are some steps to help you take stock, consider your options, and move forward even if you’re scared:

1. Consider Health Issues when Making a Decision

As a cancer survivor with multiple disabilities, I was not the average girl starting a family.  I had undergone extensive treatments that included multiple rounds of radiation and powerful chemotherapy.  What was the impact on my fertility?  How did this impact a future child? Should we fear birth defects, and would I even be able to have a baby? I began to search for the answers to these questions by asking my current and former doctors about the risks of pregnancy and childbirth.

  • Always put your health first
  • Research online, get opinions of doctors, and listen to your heart

2. Consider Practical Issues and the “real world”

After receiving the news that there was no reason I couldn’t have a child and that no obvious risks for birth defects existed, we next began to explore the practical concerns

Some of the initial concerns included how to handle a variety of tasks without vision.  Changing diapers, feeding the baby, getting the baby to appointments, traveling with 2 blind parents and a baby.  How could we possibly do these things?  We slowly found answers to these questions and formulated a plan.  There were a variety of resources out there such as a blind parents Facebook group and web sites that described how blind parents handled many tasks.

  • Make a plan before you take action
  • Consult with others with your limitations who have gone before you
  • Consult with professionals who can offer suggestions about adaptive ways of facing the problem

3. What to do When the Rest of the World Thinks You’re Crazy

Now here’s where things got interesting…we next began to discuss our decision to have a baby with family and friends. I know our family and friends meant well, but you have to remember that most people don’t understand how we do the simplest of tasks.  Cooking, cleaning, working and just putting on makeup; this all looks impossible to the average outsider.

Thus, as we began to share our hopes and desires to have a baby with those around us, we had a variety of responses that contained elements of fear and caution mixed in with a little happiness along the way. Part of me wanted  to hear, “We will be there for you to help in any way we can,” or “Let us know how we can help.”  Yet, the reality was those on the outside had more questions and concerns than we did.

4. Remember God is the Only one you can Trust

This led me back to the rock, the firm foundation in my life.  Christ my Savior, my hope of glory.  He had brought me through before when things were impossible, and he would have to do it again.    Yet, I had no idea what kinds of struggles were ahead.  We were in unchartered territory and having a baby meant we were responsible for this life and its safety and well-being.

  • Realize that your friends and family will always fall short
  • Learn to put your faith in God to help you through whatever you may face
  • have confidence in your ability to handle each challenge with God’s help.

5. Take a leap of Faith and Believe in Yourself

I once overheard a family friend jokingly say to my pregnant friend about her pregnancy, “You guys are smart people, we knew you guys would figure things out eventually!”  While this statement is funny, it illustrates the simplicity of childbirth.  After all, isn’t it a simple A+B=C transaction?  As I analyzed the many complicated angles of becoming blind parents, I eventually realized that I was making things too complicated.  After all, people had been having babies for thousands of years.

In the end, I realized deciding to become a parent was that simple.  With a little cooperation from my husband, we decided to take the plunge and to start trying to become pregnant.  I didn’t have all the answers, and I didn’t even know if I would be able to get pregnant due to my medical history.  I must admit, I truly didn’t believe it could be that simple.  Everything else I had accomplished in life took hard work.  I was used to failure, I was used to trying again and again, so you can imagine how amazed I was when I learned I was pregnant.  Not only that, I had been in this condition for 13 weeks before I realized our attempt was successful!

Isn’t that the way life is sometimes?  We think things have to be hard or complicated when all we need to do is to step out.  I can’t even say I always even step out in faith. Yet, as I continue to keep moving forward, one step at a time.  I am able to fill in the blanks as I go.

  • Step out in faith, and do it afraid!
  • Don’t be surprised when God grants you the desires of your heart
  • Don’t be concerned that you don’t have all the answers, you can figure it out as you go!

In this blog entry, I presented 5 suggestions to help people with disabilities and others  learn how to pursue their dreams when these dreams seem impossible.  These steps  include consider and research health issues that may impact your dream, consider practical issues and limitations and how these impact the dream, and make a plan,  Finally, realize God is the only one you can trust and step out and take a leap of faith.

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Fun and Vitality for the Newly Blind and Visually Impaired https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/2017-9-29-fun-and-vitality/ https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/2017-9-29-fun-and-vitality/#comments Sat, 30 Sep 2017 20:42:20 +0000 https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/2017-9-29-fun-and-vitality/ For persons who are newly blind and visually impaired there often comes an inner struggle and overwhelming sense of boredom as they come to a belief that their active lifestyle has come a grinding halt after the vision loss. With the thoughtful application of some simple principles and activities, however, it is possible for a newly blind person to once again realize the many benefits of an active lifestyle.

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In January, 2017, Irish athlete Sinead Kane became the first legally blind woman to run seven marathons on seven continents in seven days.

For persons who are newly blind and visually impaired, there is often an inner struggle and overwhelming sense of boredom as they come to a belief that their active lifestyle has grinded to a halt after the vision loss. With the thoughtful application of some simple principles and activities, however, it is possible for a newly blind person to once again realize the many benefits of an active lifestyle.

In this entry, we examine the role of fun and vitality in the rehabilitation of persons with vision loss including social and psychological benefits of fun and recreation, how to discover what is fun for each individual, and examples of recreation for persons who are blind and visually impaired.  Nancy Parkin Bashizi, director at Vision Rehabilitation Services (VRS) in Smyrna, Georgia, provides useful information about the impact of these types of activities on social and psychological well-being and presents a variety of adaptive activities and a list of resources for the blind and visually impaired.

Psychological and Social Benefits to Recreation

Physiologically, being active releases endorphins (otherwise known as the body’s happiness chemicals) and helps battle feelings of depression and isolation. Additionally, being physically active helps the body maintain its strength and fitness and contributes to overall health and well-being.

While participating in a rehabilitation program, the individual will learn new skills that allow him or her to live more independently. Taking these new skills and applying them to a social or leisure activity is both motivating and builds confidence in the ability to try new things and problem-solve. For example, gardening may be be done in pots and containers and using tactile strategies. Planting flowers and herbs that smell nice, or have bright colors allows the person to experience the joy of growing things in a new way.

Socially, connecting with others who are living an active lifestyle with vision loss can build a sense of community, lead to peer-to-peer learning, create mentoring opportunities and allow the person to learn new ways to practice the activities enjoyed before vision loss. It is always more fun to share a favorite activity with others; informal sharing of new skills is a great way to connect with others who are going through the same challenges.

Finding the Perfect Recreation for Persons with Vision Loss

According to Sharon Marttin, LCSW, fun activities are important to healthy living in adulthood.    Sharon explains that each of us should live authentically by trying new things to discover what we enjoy most rather than people pleasing or just “going along for the ride,” You can read her suggestions for steps to take to discover what you enjoy and how to promote good mental health in this process by visiting her blog at http://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/discover-whats-fun-for-you-and-authentic-living/.

It is important to actively pursue fun as an adult. Explore various types of fun to discover what you enjoy most; don’t participate in activities just because others enjoy the activity. Instead, make a decision to try new things and learn about yourself.

Resources for Activities for persons with vision loss

  • Persons with vision loss should contact their local vocational rehabilitation agency to obtain services through organizations such as Vision Rehabilitation Services. These organizations can help the person who is newly blind or visually impaired gain the necessary skills to participate in a variety of leisure activities.
  • No matter what the favorite pastime may have been BEFORE vision loss, chances are there is a way to adapt it to meet the new situation. Connecting with a Vision Rehabilitation Therapist or friend who is participating in that activity are two ways to explore adaptations and new strategies.
  • Many clients at VRS continue to weight train, practice yoga or martial arts, swim or hike, with their vision loss. The individual with vision loss should ask a professional Orientation & Mobility Specialist to assist in learning strategies for participating in these activities in a new way.
  • Explore and / or join an organization that specializes in adapting sports for the visually impaired such as Georgia Blind Sports Association, http://www.gablindsports.com/ to learn new sports and connect with others who like to try new things. This organization offers tandem biking, GoalBall, kayaking and beep baseball.
  • Check out resources such as Hadley Institute for the blind and visually impaired at www.Hadley.edu for online or correspondence classes in leisure activities such as container gardening, birdsong tutor or learning a new language.

In sum, there are many psychological and social benefits to being active for a person who is blind or visually impaired, including an elevated mood resulting from being active and a sense of community and independence that comes from participating in recreational events with others who are blind or visually impaired.   Each individual should take the time to discover which activities they are best suited to based on his or her interests and abilities.   Rehabilitation services through organizations such as VRS can help the person who is blind or visually impaired obtain the skills and resources needed to participate in adapted recreation, leisure, and sports activities so the person can promote a strong sense of fun and vitality in life.

For more information, contact Nancy Parkin Bashizi at Vision Rehabilitation Services, 3830 South Cobb Drive, Suite 125, Smyrna, GA 30080, phone 770-4327280

Also, please visit Sharon Marttin’s blog at http://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/discover-whats-fun-for-you-and-authentic-living/.

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How Does My Faith Help Me Overcome My Problems? https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/2017-8-27-how-does-my-faith-help-me-overcome-my-problems/ https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/2017-8-27-how-does-my-faith-help-me-overcome-my-problems/#comments Wed, 30 Aug 2017 00:19:48 +0000 https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/2017-8-27-how-does-my-faith-help-me-overcome-my-problems/ I have experienced my share of problems, some brought on by my own poor choices and others brought on by various factors that I had no control over. Some have lasted for but a brief time and others have long ago worn out their welcome. I have made it through the darkest seasons of my life because the truth I know is greater than what I feel.

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The following blog was written by guest blogger and friend Kimberleigh S Daniels. I asked her to write about the role of spirituality in facing problems. As I read, I found similarities to techniques of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

Ms. Daniels uses a combination of Christian counseling techniques that include prayer, Bible reading, speaking her faith out loud and reciting scriptures to overcome her problems. This is similar to the guidance and support I provide during a counseling session. Ms. Daniels does a fabulous job of being her “own therapist” and illustrating how one can use his or her own spirituality to overcome the challenges of life. 

How Does My Faith Help Me Overcome My Problems?

I have experienced my share of problems, some brought on by my own poor choices and others brought on by various factors that I had no control over. Some have lasted for but a brief time and others have long ago worn out their welcome. I have made it through the darkest seasons of my life because the truth I know is greater than what I feel.

Dealing with My Problems without Faith

Sometimes in my problem, I begin to feel alone. I feel like no one cares, no one understands, and I have to do this on my own, whatever “this” is at that moment. When those thoughts start, I sink fast. I feel panicked because there’s no one to reach out to for help.

The Power of Words

I have to speak truth to the feelings that are taking over me. In these moments I have to remind myself that my feelings are not my reality, and I have to speak TRUTH…out loud!

  • The LORD is going through this with me; He will never leave me or forsake me. (Deut. 31:6)
  • Nothing can separate me from Jesus. (Romans 8:35-38)
  • He is with me ALWAYS. (Matt. 28:20)
  • I will not be afraid because You are with me God. I will not be dismayed because You are my God. You will strengthen and help me. You will uphold me. (Isaiah 41:10)

Feelings Can Take My Peace and Joy

When I more than feel my feelings, and I allow them to lead, it is easy to take on a victim mentality. All the things I hear from the media or misguided ministers begin to control my thoughts: If God is good, why is he letting me experience this? If He is all-powerful, then He would just end this. If He is my daddy, why doesn’t He just wipe out these bullies I keep having to deal with? If He is pleased with me, then why doesn’t He fill my coffers like that guy said He would? You get the idea. The longer I let them run rampant, the darker they get. And again … I have to take these wrong thoughts captive and speak TRUTH.

When My Plans Don’t Work Out

I know that this hasn’t surprised Him, and He has a plan.

Most of my problems have caught me off guard. I hadn’t planned on a lingering sickness. I thought they would be in my life longer. I had no idea that today would be my last day with income. Unplanned things leave my best-laid plans in chaos. No i’s dotted or t’s crossed…I can’t even read the print!!!! These events often leave me feeling confused, dazed, like I’m in a fog. Things that should remedy the problem don’t … and there I go again … panic!

Again, I have to speak what is my reality:

  • You have plans for my life, and they are good. (Jer. 29:11)
  • I know that even in this You are working for my benefit. (Romans 8:28)
  • Lord, I have made plans for my life, but You establish my steps…including this one. ( Proverbs 16:9)
  • As You have planned for my life, so shall it be. (Isaiah 14:24)
  • You saw me and all my days before my mother was even aware of my existence. You had already written all of my days…including this one and all that it brings. It did not surprise you, and it is not too big for You! (Psalm 139:16)

I know that He is good.

  • You do not want me to be anxious, so I give ALL of these things I am worried about to you. ( 1 Peter 5:7)
  • You are good and what You do is good. (Psalm 119:58)
  • Lord, I thank you for your goodness. (Psalm 107:1)
  • You are good to all; you have compassion on all that you have made and that includes me. (Psalm 145:9)
  • How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for me! (Psalm 31:9)

I know that He will deliver me.

The other lie that is easy for me to buy into is that this problem will never end.

  • You will deliver me from this distress. (Psalm 107:6)
  • You said I can call on you in the day of my trouble and you will deliver me. I give you glory for my deliverance! (Psalm 50:15)
  • You are my rock, my fortress, and my DELIVERER!! (2 Sam. 22:2)
  • Lord, deliver me from all of my fears. (Psalm 34:4)
  • You know how to rescue me from this trial. (2 Peter 2:9)
  • I will not fear for you have redeemed me. You have called me by name, and I am yours! Even in this you are walking with me. I am precious in your eyes, honored, and you love me. (Isaiah 43:1-5)

Our feelings are good. They were given to us by God to discern and to be able to experience the joy He has created for us. But in times of trouble or distress, they often get out of control and try to be dictators rather than informers. Faith helps to keep them in their right place. God encourages us to feel them, burying them only leads to greater trouble later. But His Word equips us with TRUTH for when they get out of their lane.

The Outcome

Problems and troubles lead to overwhelming feelings of fear and inadequacy. Faith plus speaking the Word and reading the Bible leads to thoughts of peace and strength. The individual is ready to overcome problems!

To read more by Kimberleigh S Daniels, please visit www.rootedgypsysite.wordpress.com

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3 Steps for Overcoming Adversity https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/2017-7-27-3-steps-for-overcoming-adversity/ https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/2017-7-27-3-steps-for-overcoming-adversity/#comments Thu, 27 Jul 2017 21:27:47 +0000 https://www.counselingbykimberly.com/2017-7-27-3-steps-for-overcoming-adversity/ What is the meaning of our suffering?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  What is the difference in the person who encounters disability or illness and accomplishes great things versus the one who becomes angry and despondent after adversity? 

In this entry, I examine the importance of finding meaning in our challenges, the role of psychological resilience in dealing with our problems, and using suffering to learn and grow.

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“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it,” Helen Keller

What is the meaning of our suffering?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  What is the difference in the person who encounters disability or illness and accomplishes great things versus the one who becomes angry and despondent after adversity?

In this entry, I examine the importance of finding meaning in our challenges, the role of psychological resilience in dealing with our problems, and using suffering to learn and grow.

Finding Meaning —

Existential therapy can be viewed as a process in which the individual focuses on finding meaning in life.  Victor Frankl, the founder of this form of therapy, believed that people have problems when they lack meaning for their present situation.  Using this therapy, I guide the individual in making choices to find this meaning.  Additionally, I encourage autonomy and positive choices.  I empower the client to make choices to reach the goal that the individual feels leads to purpose and meaning in his or her life.

For example, what if Bob has lost his job and now is questioning his career?  I would assist Bob in exploring the big picture, such as what can he do to be happier and more successful in his career?  So, what if Bob decides that he wasn’t meant to be a teacher and this really didn’t fulfill his purpose?  He had always wanted to be a nurse, but his mother had pushed him to enter the teaching field.  The discovered meaning ofhis job loss was to lead him to his life purpose of becoming a nurse.

* Anxiety results from a lack of control and personal responsibility for life’s choices.

* Person is the author of his or her own life.

* Goal — Individual makes positive choices to reach goals and create meaning

Resilience —

Next, we consider the topic of resilience.  According to dictionary.com, this is defined as:

1.  the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2. ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like.

Resilience is characterized by the personal traits that allow the individual to overcome life’s hardships and to bounce back after going through problems.  What are these traits?  According to Hara Estroff Marano of Psychology Today, these individuals possess a strong personal identity and positive attitude and a flexible psyche that allows them to be optimistic and to plan for emotional hardships.  They find meaning in adversity but don’t let their problems define their lives.  People who practice resilience surround themselves with other positive people and gain strength from these individuals.

They also implement coping strategies and know when to seek help from others, including professional interventions.

Characteristics of the resilient overcoming Self:

* Positive attitude with a positive outlook on the future

* Positive choices lead to the pursuit of personal goals.

 World view of the resilient individual:

* Life not defined by problems

* Problems are viewed as temporary

* Believe things will get better

* Believe problems have meaning or serve a greater purpose

Relationships with others for improved resilience:

* Surrounded by positive, supportive friends

* Implement coping skills that include advice of professionals

* Look to trusted mentors for direction

Sue lost her leg in an automobile accident.  Everyone notices that she is always smiling and has a wonderful outlook on life.  Sue loves swimming as an athlete with a disability.  She gains strength and encouragement through her activities with other teammates with disabilities.  Sue experiences pain in her muscles related to her accident, but she has learned to cope with this effectively by using pain management techniques taught to her by her therapist.

The Law of Use —

Finally, we examine the Law of Use.  “Just as we develop our physical muscles by overcoming opposition, -such as lifting weights-  we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity,” –Stephen Covey– Now consider the role of experience in our personal growth.  We can maintain that challenge and adversity leads to growth and strength as we learn specific skills to handle these events.  This is the law of use; a principle that represents the phenomenon of increase that occurs as we put stress on a skill or muscle, or the decrease that occurs if we neglect a part of our body or a practiced skill.  Whether we experience job loss, physical illness or disability, every experience brings with it a unique set of interpersonal skills and new dimensions of character development.  As we grow and age, we develop wisdom about life and learn strategies to handle more and more problems.  The psychologically healthy person views life’s challenges as a learning opportunity and works to master these challenges with grace and ease.

* Develop new coping mechanisms

* Greater character and emotional strength

Experience of adversity, hardship, disability or illness leads to growth and new interpersonal skills

Albert has been in the army since finishing high school.  He attended basic training where he learned amazing inner control and emotional fortitude.  Although things were difficult in the beginning, Albert felt much more prepared and able to handle the many responsibilities of his position when he was sent to Afghanistan a few years later.  Albert received medals for his skill and decision making on the battlefield when he returned home from his last deployment.

In sum, the existential therapist works with the client to promote autonomy and personal growth  by encouraging the individual to find meaning in his or her life.  Resilience can be described as a flexible, optimistic and well-prepared outlook on life with a hope that problems are temporary and are destined to get better.  Resilient individuals surround themselves with other positive influences and know when to seek help from professionals or other mentors. The final approach follows the law of use; this means the victorious individual uses his or her abilities and tools to improve during adversity, by growing, learning and becoming stronger by constantly moving towards their highest potential.

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